Kill them with kindness: the superpower of successful leaders

Introduction

Why is it we value living a happy, fulfilled and loving life but at work some feel the only way to get ahead is to use power and toughness as a tool? In life, we actively remove ourselves from toxic relationships as we know it’s unhelpful so why, in the context of work, should it be any different?

In my experience the more empathetic, compassionate and genuine I am, the more I find people gravitate to the outcome we’re working towards. There is no science behind the idea that being nice, charismatic or likeable means you are more likely to be a push-over or that people won’t respect you. It’s an old-way of thinking with a lack of evidence to back-it-up.

Former New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, both forceful and compassionate, remarked that one of the criticisms she's faced over the years is that "I'm not aggressive enough or assertive enough, or maybe somehow, because I'm empathetic, it means I'm weak. I totally rebel against that. I refuse to believe that you cannot be both compassionate and strong."

There's one quality you need as a leader that'll inspire your entire team to be more engaged, more productive, and, ultimately, happier at work. It's not your work ethic, your decision making, or your ability to do your job. Although these traits are very important, this quality surpasses all of them.

It's kindness.

Objectives

Subject

When I am finished with my career, I want to be remembered for how I made people feel and how I supported them. Leading with kindness influences every action I take as an engineering manager. And guess what? It’s good for business, too.

Kindness comes in many forms. It's the way you speak, the language you use, the non-verbal communication you display, the feedback you give, and the targets you set.

Giving positive feedback for good work is an act of kindness. So is recognising and pointing out when someone goes above and beyond their usual workload, using their initiative to drive forward your business goals. Celebrating people’s successes, rather than focusing only on their mistakes or failures, is another kind act.

Gallup finds year after year in its surveys of US workers that “receiving a compliment, words of recognition and praise can help individuals feel more fulfilled, boost their self-esteem, improve their self-evaluations and trigger positive emotions.” From my latest finds on this topic, I can only note one of my close friends, Katie Thacker, having an epiphany last week on how impactful words of appreciation can be over her motivation to deliver at work. (hi Katie).

Through all my experiences as a leader I have realised that kindness is contagious. There’s an old saying in Romanian saying “Cum ii pastrezi, asa ii ai” - roughly translating to “The quality of your things is based on how you take care of them”. Your conscious decision to practice empathy and kindness throughout your responsibilities as a leader can serve as the driving force for a more complete work environment. Being kind is good for our own and our employees' mental health. And that translates to improved morale and performance.

Framework

Long gone are the days of strong, iron-fisted leadership. Our work takes on 2 thirds of our life: why should we accept offering our limited time towards a non-nurturing environment. The Logan Roy mentality (Succession reference) is not sustainable. Sail ahead with empathy. Here are straightforward, effective ways to practice kindness through your words and actions:

I hear you.

Listen without judgement. Be present in the conversations your are having with your peers. Immerse yourself into the conversations, and avoid being distracted by your phone or anything external. From my experience, individuals quickly grasp your level of interest when listening, and they can switch backwards to refraining from sharing their truths with you if they feel that you’re asking only for the sake of asking.

What can I do to help?

After validating someone’s truth, extend your kindness by taking actions in improving their experience at work. Either through your knowledge or through putting them in touch with external help, be the guiding light through difficult times.

I’m here for you.

Sometimes all you might have to do is to show up. Let your employees that you are there for them when they need to share concerns or simply require a sympathetic, nonjudgmental ear. Being approachable with no hidden intentions behind has been a great catalyst for my relationships with my teams.

How are you managing these days?

A common mistakes leaders do after finding out someone is going through difficult times outside work is downsizing the impact of such situations. Pretending everything is business as usual can add more stress for your peers: they may feel the need to hide their own emotions during working hours. Remain aware of the impact external events may have on your teams and offer as much support as you can.

Thank you!

Say it with sincerity and say it often.

Final thoughts

The amazing consequence of kindness is that it creates a ripple effect. If you're kind to your direct reports, they're likely to pass on that feeling to the people they work with – and you form an energetic wave of positivity throughout your business. You have the power, as a leader, to promote this attitude. Employees are very aware of your qualities, acts, and behaviors. There is no hiding a negative attitude - it’s easily felt. So, be kind on purpose.

And you know what the best part about fostering kindness as a leader is? It’s completely free. Investing into creating a kinder culture every single day requires no capital. Begin today and watch mindsets start to shift.

More than 90% of your thoughts are subconscious, and without even realising it, you make instant judgements about people and situations based on biases you may not even know you have. Empathy and kindness guide you towards better understanding other people’s perspectives, and truly sustain what they need.

Choose consciously to be kind - that’s how you become a great leader.

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Quality content

Today’s edition has been strongly inspired by me starting a new job. I have recently joined Glovo, and I am already absorbing their culture and approach to business. I specifically applied for this position grace to my strong connection with their culture and value-based methodologies for people management.

Even from my first days interacting with my team or other employees, I can already tell that the mindset and approach in regards to work is fresh, and healthy. Individuals truly embody the company’s culture. Why? Because their culture and values are not based on fancy words that look good on paper, but rather on tangible and applicable rules for a thriving work environment, and life in general.

In this edition’s quality content I will be dropping you a deep dive on Glovo’s culture and values. For any questions in regards to it, I’m more than happy to discuss in detail on how these translate in real life examples!

This is it for today! Thank you for reading!

Razzmatazz without the matazz.